Joy

I have no pictures to upload because I am not at my computer, but I wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone. As I sit here, watching Narnia on TV and enjoying the kids uncontollable excitement, I am finally tasting Christmas. Most of you who know me, know that I have trouble speaking from my heart most of the time. I am better with the written, yet hope to be better at the spoken one day. Know that when I write what I write it is truly from my heart. I have been discouraged because Christmas came too quickly this year, rather I was too busy this year to feel Christmas. Last night I sat on my couch and cried because I felt like I missed Christmas. I never really cared so much about Christmas Day, it was the build up and the preparation that I enjoyed. But tonight as I sit, I am reminded that no matter if I "felt" the spirit of Christmas or not, Jesus still came to this earth in human form. He lived, He lead, and He loved, and then made the ultimate sacrifice for us all. It is His Spirit that I crave. It is Jesus that I long to know more, to grasp how "wide and long and high and deep" is His love for us. I not only want the rescue He brings, but also to be changed in my "innermost being," by Him. I want to truly Believe, not with just lip-service, but with my life. So, that is what I am pondering tonight on this Christmas Eve. That, and just how thankful I am to be sitting here with family, lovin' the joy in my kids faces and this warm laptop on my tummy full of white chocolate pretzels.
Merry Christmas to you all!