The Other Side of the Seaweed

I could list so many things about what Alexis has taught me. When I was pregnant with her, my first child, I thought I had this whole parenting thing figured out. I always loved kids and they usually liked me, and I also had read a few parenting books--so I thought it would be a breeze. I was in need of some humbling, you might say.

But, what I believe Alexis has been teaching me lately is a little bit about my own relationship with God. After spending time with Alexis this week, the Lord revealed, clearly, what He wanted me to learn.


The beach here has a line of dead sea weed right up to where the sand meets the water.



Alexis can't bring herself to go through it. Not only is she afraid of the seaweed, the ocean scares her to death. Alexis has alot of fears, mostly when it comes to the unknown. New experiences are quite intimidating to her. If she is not familiar with it, she won't go near it. So, all week long she has stayed "safely" near the umbrella up beyond the seaweed. Yesterday, as I was thinking about this on the beach, I thought about my own fears of the water. I don't like the ocean because I don't know what is out there. I don't like the salty taste, or the seaweed at my feet, or the thought of jellyfish around me, or strong undertow's dragging me, and it so cold. I stay on the sand and enjoy looking at the ocean, which is so beautiful and mysterious. My fear may not be as announced as Alexis', but it is there and it is fear. And there is the big picture. I can stay on the shore, where it is safe, pretty, and I don't have to get hurt, or I can go through the sea weed (which is where I have been lately) and give myself fully over to the Lord--vulnerable to the unknown, trusting in Him with every step. Getting there can be ugly, it can be scary, it can hurt (alot), because it involves breaking down the flesh and the will. But I want more, I want the ocean. I have been caught in this place between holding on and full abandon for too long. As Alexis was playing under the umbrella, she kept saying "I am bored." Of course she was, the rest of the kids were making sand castles past the seaweed or with their dads in the ocean jumping the waves. Safe is boring. I want more, I want the ocean. "But, what about the undertow, Lord? I am not strong enough." And he says to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 cor. 12:9) "But, Lord, I am afraid of what is out there, I could get hurt." And He says to me, "I am the stronghold of your life--whom shall you fear?" (Psalm 27:1) "But, Lord, I am not a good swimmer." And He says to me, "Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." (Hebrews 12:2).









So, I stepped out, by myself, and walked till the waves covered me. And you know what? I laughed in complete joy. I felt like a child. "Taste and see that the Lord is good." (psalm 34:8)

I want the ocean. Even if it means leaving the comfort of the warm sand behind, I want the Ocean. I want to be called a friend of God, not just a bystander. That is just boring. I want the Ocean. It means surrender, it means submission, it means being vulnerable, and it means immersion. But, I want the ocean. "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)


Thank you, Alexis, for teaching me about myself and about our Creator. One day, He will give you the courage to go beyond that sea weed and you, too, will be free to live the abundant life that HE promises. In His time.