The Measure of a Man

This has been one of Kevin's suicide weeks at work. Not only was he out of town most of the week, but when he came back into town, around 5 pm Thursday night, he headed straight to an office for a seminar that lasted to 7:30. On his way home from that, while we all ANXIOUSLY waited by the window, his car let him know it had "had it" and gave out on him in the middle of a construction zone, on the highway, with no where to go. We finally saw him around 9:00. After a late Friday work day, and an early morning seminar this morning, we are ALL anxious to be together. I just want to honor him, one week after father's day for a couple minutes. Last night when we all sat down for a late night dinner, and shared about each other's day for a few minutes, Iwas reminded of how much I miss him when he is gone. He got up from the table, just to change out of his work clothes, and this feeling came over me of wanting to grab him and never let him go. I hated the thought of him leaving for 2 minutes. We all did. We followed him. He didn't get frustrated at us, he didn't beg us for 5 minutes to himself, he just let us follow him. I am so thankful for that--such selflessness. And then he let us all climb on him and talk his ear off. These weeks are hard on him, but he still had much to give. I am so thankful for Kevin. I cry when I talk about him to people. He loves the Lord so very much. I love waking up in the morning to him quietly singing to the Lord and playing his guitar. I love the moments we get to spend with him in the morning, no body rushing around. I love that the things of this world don't satisfy him, and that he is drawn to the One who does. I love that when we have had a week like this week, and I haven't even had a moment to shave my legs or wash my hair and I just feel "bedraggled", he still looks at me like I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. I love that when he is home he is devoted to us. That is not easy for a man who has so many demands on him, and so I am very grateful. Kevin, thank you. My Uncle Mike was right, you remind me, too, of David, a man after God's own heart. I could not ask for more. I love you and I miss you.

and As the Psalmist says, "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." Psalm 59:16