Trust

Kevin and I are learning much about trust these days. We live in a world where every one has a different answer and they are all assured of that answer. It is unbelievable how much pride, at the expense of compassion, is out in the field of helping people. When we started this journey with Eli we were bullied by a nurse (that we really liked) that told us we "HAD" to give Eli the flu shot at 6 months and would not be a part of delaying any vaccinations. She said they simply would not see Eli as a patient if we chose that path. We later took Eli to an allergist who made Kevin and I feel as small as a pea when he reprimanded us for not treating Eli's eczema sooner. I remember his words like it was yesterday (probably because they burned a hole in my heart) "Do you even know how miserable your son is?" He treated Eli's symptoms, but Eli only got worse. Then he refused to see him. We soon saw a guy who works with enzymes. He was very involved with Eli's case. We were so hopeful. He helped with some other issues, but Eli never really progressed (maybe for a short time). After 5 months of his help, but no progression, we questioned if this was working for Eli, and he got defensive with us in an email. I think at one point he said that "I was lucky to even have Eli alive." That reaction only after a simple, "Do you think we should take another route?" Wow. Sorry Mr. Y, I don't cave to fear, my trust is in the Lord. After that and some bad advice that fortunately I tried on myself before testing it on Eli, I was done. We have seen a couple other Dr.s who only provided more scolding and treating of Eli's symptoms. Which did give him some relief, but only temporarily. We went to a Nutritionalist who put him on a yeast-free diet and a hundred dollars worth of supplements and told us we would see results in a month. A month has come and gone and we see only regression. WE recently took him to a Naturopath who we heard great things about. Had a great visit, he even prayed with me, and then sent me out the door with 300 dollars worth of more supplements. Maybe he will run the thousand dollars (not insurance covered) worth of tests on Eli and discover what is really going on in Eli, or maybe he is just another man who is taking advantage of a desperate mom who wants to relieve her son. I question him because of the fact that his wife (his secretary) has called everyday and when I say Eli is no better, she wants me to "consult" with Dr. D at a whopping 5 dollars a minute (and we haven't even commited to the testing yet). I had one Dr. who wanted me to be a part of an agenda against all "holistic" dr.s who call themselves Dr.s, but really aren't. But, I don't want to be apart of any agenda's, I just want my son to stop clawing himself to death. I want to find out why he is not allergic at all to one food one day, and then the very next day goes into anaphylactic after a few bites. I say this not for sympathy, not for advice, not even for an answer. I am just frustrated with all the wisdom of man right now. Can't any of these professionals just get along and work together on really trying to help people? They all just want to be right.
So, what has this led me to? To trusting more and more in the One who knit Eli together in my womb and who knows how many hairs are on His head. Only He knows what is wrong with Eli and only He can guide us to the answer. We have to trust that He either can guide us, heal Eli Himself, or give us a peace that right now there is no answer. That Eli's body just need time. So, Kevin and I are waiting as we pray and hope. "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3
"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

sidenote:
I just want to say one more thing that is on my heart, heavy on my heart, today. There are ALOT of sick children out there right now. Just check around the blog world and you will bump into someone who has a sick child. Or chances are you know someone or go to church with someone whose child is sick. It is something that weighs heavy on me for some reason. Read Stellan's blog today, and listen to his Momma's exhaustion from the ups and downs of something she has no control over, and something that nothing seems to fix. It seems as though something will work for a short time, and then the body fights even harder against itself. Or like "whack a mole"--one thing fixes one issue, and then others pop up around it. My prayers are fervent for all the moms out there who have no answers, and are just "tapped dry."