Water for the Seed

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."- Stacia Tauscher

Last night, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I had some moments of clarity. Every now and then when I wake up in the middle of the night and I have trouble going back to sleep, the Lord shows me something or gives me clarity on something that I am struggling with or just something he wants me to know. This moment was cleary an "A-HA" moment over something that I have been questioning for a long time.


Since my children were little (I know they are still little, but I mean "little-er") I have longed to really know them and engage them in such a way that they don't remember me from the waist down. I am a real good "baby" momma, but right around 2 years old, something changes and I just am rather clueless. I struggled for years on whether or not I should go into "their world" or that I should make them come into my world and be little adults. Confessionally, I prefered the second concept. Better yet, they can stay in kid world and I will be in adult world and maybe a couple of times a day we could meet in the middle. But, at the end of the day (as much as I hate that expression, it truly was at the end of my days), I still had this longing and desire deep in my heart to "see and know" my children--their natural gifts and talents, thier interests--and nurture those things. I wanted to be with them and know what to do with them while I was with them. Even with educating them at home, it has been a struggle for me to engage them on thier interest levels. I get caught up in what I think they need to know instead of expanding upon what they are gifted in and working in those things. So, I frustrate them and force things on them and stress if they don't get it. It is alot of of trial and error. But as I relax and just give in to being with them and exploring with them through their eyes, I am convinced now that God is answering the desires of my heart--to enjoy and engage my children from my shoulders up. To connect deeply, to see thier gifts and interests, to laugh with them and let them be children as long as they can. To walk through this life enjoying doing things together. And as a side blessing, I get a fresh new look on the world. I get to see the world again through the eyes of a child, and that is refreshing. It has also helped me in applying just that concept to my walk with the Lord. To look at the Lord and His Kingdom with fresh eyes. Because that is what the Lord wants afterall, this is the Message version of the verse Matthew 18:2-4 "For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me. " I love that.


So, in questioning over and over our decision to take our children out of school for a life of learning at home, "Lord, are you sure you want us to do this?" I understood more clearly last night, and was overwhelmed at just how much He has allready shown us all. He knew the longing in my heart and He told us a way to get there.

Aaron loves to create and build with anything he finds. This says "I love Mom", I didn't get the "MOM" in.

this is a Christmas tree made with rocks and leaves. There are soft purple petals all over it if you look closely. I think it's beautiful.