Letting Go

I am posting from the balcony of our condo that overlooks the ocean. It is quite beautiful and feels so wonderful. Kevin's parents were gracious enough to take their two son's families to Destin for a week. We got down here Saturday night after about 15 hours in the car with 6 children under 7. They were so great!!! I think the adults said "are we there yet?" before we ever heard it from our kids. Thank you little ones, you were real troopers!!! Well, it was worth the 15 long hours to gaze upon this sight even for a moment.

We came not knowing what to expect with Eli. Hoping the salt water would be great, but worried how the sand would agitate his wounds. We came prepared. One thing we don't want is to ever make Eli feel like he is 'handicapped" by his ailments. Yet, we do have to protect to some degree. It's a fine line.

After a heavy couple of months, we came here to let go. When I say let go, I don't mean just to rest and leave our "troubles" behind, but to come and write our sorrows in the sand and let the Lord wash them away. Sometimes ( ok, alot of the time) I hold on too tightly. My fears and my worries drive me to control and I hold on so tightly that I grow heavy and overwhelmed. I want to fix it all. I want my boy to feel good, I want everyone to be well. But, you see, I can't fix it. So, what can I do? I can chose to admit that I can't do it, and that there are no "perfect"answers or solutions, and I can admit that I certainly don't have them if there were. And then, I can put my trust in the Lord and wait on Him. When I do that, release it all, I can begin to experience the joy I long for. Even when things aren't going so well. For His "yoke is easy and His burden is light." (Mt 11:30) Like today, for instance, when my boys body is covered in rashes, I can put him in his daddy's arms and watch as Kevin lets the waves wash over Eli's little body, praying for relief with each wave and hearing HIM say, "This soon shall pass." Because it will.


I guess the change of scenery, especially here on the coast of a vast ocean, has been good to remind me of just how BIG He really is.