I don't know about you, but I make the mistake of reading other people's blogs and believing that they must have it all together. They say just the right thing, or their kids look so absolutely perfect, or their wisdom is so profound that they must spend most of their time walking on water. But what I am discovering is that I certainly don't ever feel like blogging if I am having a bad day, week or, yes, month. I write when we have a great day or when we do some fun, wonderful thing. I write when I feel a moment of enlightment, which is quite seldom, actually. Or I write about progress or trial, which is all in the journey. But, I don't write the ugly stuff, the moments of insanity, the moments we don't want anyone to know about. I want you to think I have it all together, but I don't. The truth is life isn't always pleasant. We don't sit around our house and look cute all the time. We don't have this perfect, all our "ducks in a row" life. By the end of the week, I am tired and on empty. I start to question everything. I get angry at the kids and say things I want to take back---yuck. It is in these moments, I am beginning to see how much I need more of the Lord. And guess what? He ALWAYS has more to give. Because the more of Him, the less of me. I want that. I want that for my kids, for my husband, for my family, for my friends.
So, just so you all know, this week was not so great. I wounded with my words, acted hastily in fear, ignored God's call to "come and be still," pouted, you name it. It wasn't fun. I could keep that all to myself, and let you believe we have a perfect life and I am the best mom ever (although most of you know that I am not), but I think I will confess it instead and not give the devil a foothold. After all, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Eph 6:12 He wins when I run and hide. Victory begins when we confess with our mouth what is hidden. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." James 5:16 It is what is hidden that hurts us and those we love.
4 comments:
It's hard to share the not so great times, but can be therapeutic for sure. We all have them! It's part of life. I love you.
The dark days sometimes seem so much darker when they are our own. We look out of our darkness and think we see so much more light and sparkle and wish for it. When the truth is, there are those who see the light and sparkle in us and think that is who to be. Thank God for His all encompassing Light!
We all have those same feeling, Jenni. Life is seldom, if ever, perfect. That is why I am so thankful for God's grace. What would we do without it?
Love,
Mama Fran
There are soooo many things I don't blog about. You're right: we all want everyone to know our lives are perfect. But you never know what lesson you can teach or what encouragement you can bring to someone by confessing our sins to each other. Thank you. :)
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