I even wrote a post on December 31st, 2008 that told the story in Voyage of the Dawn Treader about Eustace's scales, see New Clothes. Our journey with Eli got to a point early this year that forced us to draw closer to the Lord. When nothing was working for the little guy and we were up every night hours at a time, life got difficult. We were tired, frustrated, confused and things started to fall apart. Nothing eased the ache. We needed more of the LORD. Period. We began to realize how much we depended on our own efforts, strength, guidance, whatever...it wasn't working for us.
We fortunately have these amazing friends who have a love for the Lord that encompasses their life. We met together every other week, prayed alot, cried alot, shared the good, bad, and the ugly. They loved us even when we were unlovable. They believed in a Big God who is living and active through the Holy Spirit and we were hungry for more of Him. Our scales began to shed.
This past year was full of revealing and healing things deep within that was part of our "former self." It was ugly at times, and even painful, but with each step we wanted more. We began relying on His strength and eventually began to even recognize His voice--because He does still speak--not in the" earthquake", or the" fire", but in a" gentle whisper." (I Kings 19:11-13). We started not making moves without hearing from Him. Both of us would know and confirm it in eachother. We had made so many decisions based on fear or insecurity, and we didn't want to do that anymore. I remember one night, Eli was having one of his more intense scratching times and on top of that he was coughing every 10 seconds. No one was sleeping and he was miserable. I went to a quiet room and to the Lord and asked him for help BEFORE I attempted anything else. I waited for a few minutes and heard "vaseline and vicks vapor rub. " I had both. I coated his body in vaseline and put the vicks on his feet. He slept peacefully the rest of the night (and trust me, vaseline has ONLY worked this one time, we have tried it before and after with no results). It is amazing how He answers when we call, and yet so often I just don't think to do it. OR I try everything else and when it doesn't work, I (in exasperation at this point) plead for help and am too anxious to even hear. "My sheep listen to my voice." (Jn 10:27). He has never stopped talking. Discerning His voice is the hard part. But make certain, He never condemns, and always stays true to His word. His voice convicts, brings knowledge, encourages and bears much fruit. And, GOES WAY BEYOND vaseline and vicks vapor rub. :) So much of our life has been blessed by His voice and His word.
So, here we are in 2010, still being shaped, still letting Him peel the scales. Trying to rely on Him for strength, for love, for peace, for understanding. Our children are learning with us and asking questions. Eli has become a little worshipper. He gets up every morning and wants us to play worship songs while he sings and raises his little hands. He has gotten so much better. Our nights are still the hardest part. But He gives us what we need for the day. When I look at pictures from last year I am instantly reminded of how far Eli has come. He is so happy, energetic, chatty, fun and growing. He finally has tears (which began in October), his eyes just sparkle now. and his skin is softer than ever. We take these all as good signs.
More than anything else, though, we are experiencing the Lord in ways that overwhelm us. This is the GOD our hearts have longed for our whole life. And we want more. So, we continue to seek, and to embrace His will and His power. And we hope He will find us worthy to engage the battle. I was reminded just this week, of how desperately people need Him. No matter what our circumstances, we all do. Take heart, HE makes all things NEW.
6 months ago
This month
3 comments:
beautiful...love you Jen
This will be a really good year. I feel it in my bones. Kiss the little ones for me.
Love the post...beautiful!
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